Stability

Hi! Well, I guess it's been awhile. I sort of got out of the blogging scene for awhile.

Things are ...well, they're great, actually. I feel good. I mean that good kind of good, you know? I feel comfortable being alone, comfortable being with people, comfortable expressing myself, comfortable enough during stressful periods and relaxing periods.

Most importantly, I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anybody but myself. I'm not on a timed schedule where things have to happen in a particular order, and if I screw up and make mistakes sometimes, I don't look down on it. It's hard enough to just looking positively on things rather than adding the burden of thinking negatively to it as well.

I felt happy last year too, very comfortable in my interests, but it's different now. I don't feel like holing myself away, even during my crazy stressful times. I'm pretty well happy with whatever goes on, be it a night to myself, a night with friends, a night at work with my awesome coworkers, or whatever. If someone wanted to spontaneously go on a trip, I don't think I'd have a lot of mixed feelings, I'd probably be up for it.

The only thing I'm not all that interested in is partying. I've never really gotten my drinking groove back, and I'm not too concerned with whether I do or not. But I wouldn't be against going out with the right people, sober or not, if it struck me as a fun idea.

I've come to view my coworkers at Superstore as fondly as the ones I'd had at Holiday Inn. I love my job now, even the Customer Service parts of it. I feel like my old self again, and that's great. Isn't it wierd how you start off feeling kind of formal to some people and then , without even noticing, one day, you're just at ease, talking and laughing with everyone like you've known them your whole life, and enjoying work all the better? It's odd. In a nice way.

And I'm eating well and keeping adequately fit, which is always a plus, I guess.

This summer is going to be different. I can feel it. I feel ready to have a fantastic summer, and be as spontaneous or relaxed as possible. If I get into nursing, I'm just going to take a full break from school. If I don't, then I might retake calculus only, or I might wait. Whatever comes along, I will probably be up for, it's just the mindset I've been in for some time. I hope to break the routines of winter soon, and have some fun.

And you know, I don't mind changing my mind as much either. I'm not quite sure what I'm working towards yet, but I know I'm working towards something, and that's an important enough start to things.

Maybe growing up isn't so bad...although I don't like seeing those birthdays tick off like months, I feel way more happy, secure and cozy as each year passes, so I should probably stop watching the 20s roll by. (Yes I know, 22 really isn't "old"...sigh...)