Stability

Hi! Well, I guess it's been awhile. I sort of got out of the blogging scene for awhile.

Things are ...well, they're great, actually. I feel good. I mean that good kind of good, you know? I feel comfortable being alone, comfortable being with people, comfortable expressing myself, comfortable enough during stressful periods and relaxing periods.

Most importantly, I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anybody but myself. I'm not on a timed schedule where things have to happen in a particular order, and if I screw up and make mistakes sometimes, I don't look down on it. It's hard enough to just looking positively on things rather than adding the burden of thinking negatively to it as well.

I felt happy last year too, very comfortable in my interests, but it's different now. I don't feel like holing myself away, even during my crazy stressful times. I'm pretty well happy with whatever goes on, be it a night to myself, a night with friends, a night at work with my awesome coworkers, or whatever. If someone wanted to spontaneously go on a trip, I don't think I'd have a lot of mixed feelings, I'd probably be up for it.

The only thing I'm not all that interested in is partying. I've never really gotten my drinking groove back, and I'm not too concerned with whether I do or not. But I wouldn't be against going out with the right people, sober or not, if it struck me as a fun idea.

I've come to view my coworkers at Superstore as fondly as the ones I'd had at Holiday Inn. I love my job now, even the Customer Service parts of it. I feel like my old self again, and that's great. Isn't it wierd how you start off feeling kind of formal to some people and then , without even noticing, one day, you're just at ease, talking and laughing with everyone like you've known them your whole life, and enjoying work all the better? It's odd. In a nice way.

And I'm eating well and keeping adequately fit, which is always a plus, I guess.

This summer is going to be different. I can feel it. I feel ready to have a fantastic summer, and be as spontaneous or relaxed as possible. If I get into nursing, I'm just going to take a full break from school. If I don't, then I might retake calculus only, or I might wait. Whatever comes along, I will probably be up for, it's just the mindset I've been in for some time. I hope to break the routines of winter soon, and have some fun.

And you know, I don't mind changing my mind as much either. I'm not quite sure what I'm working towards yet, but I know I'm working towards something, and that's an important enough start to things.

Maybe growing up isn't so bad...although I don't like seeing those birthdays tick off like months, I feel way more happy, secure and cozy as each year passes, so I should probably stop watching the 20s roll by. (Yes I know, 22 really isn't "old"...sigh...)

Time For A Quickie

So. Things are going splendidly at present.
As some of you may or may not know, I have indeed crossed that dangerous line between easy semester and slacker. I couldn't be happier.

I started sciences, things went fine, I got bored, and thus dropped pretty well everything. Now I am finishing up my 4th year psych course, and am taking an upgrading course at Holland College to hopefully get into Nursing next year. I am really anxious to get some training in something, so hopefully all goes well.

What else is going on? Life at the Photolab, the University, College, with the Kevin, seeing friends at least an improvement over last semester if not yet ideal, reading!, writing!, and time on the Compy and such. It's swell.

I'm in love with living in the apartment. That's one thing that has turned out amazingly well. I love my Mom dearly, but she is...difficult, to say the least. I can sleep in this apartment. I have time alone, quiet time! I can have friends over, clean how and when I want to clean, eat what I want to eat. It's even better than I thought it would be. Having your Mom spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in a small place is...not easy. I don't think I could ever go back now that I've been away. Dad is so much easier to live with. And...I have the Fred! I've had him since mid September and I'm so glad he's been smuggled in. I pray that nothing comes up. Hopefully it'll be a don't ask, don't tell situation.

I'm actually eating better than I was. Well, better foods, if not a better schedule. And I like school. I like taking it easy. Things are very stable and very good. Plus, I have lots of Buffy watching time.

Thats about it for now. Byes.

o

How Are Things?

Things are ok.

Saw my place finally, day before we move in. It's nice. Not as clean or fancy as my mom/sisters, but nice. You'll have to come and see it.

Lots of moving and waiting, moving and waiting. Bringing the cat over to my Moms was an interesting experience. Lol, a cat howling at the top of his lungs in a no pets snooty building. Hilarious and wrong.

Moving is harder than I remember. Hence the lack of phoning and calling and socialness and stuff. It's just too much right now. Will have a home gathering as soon as we're in, yay!

It's wierd to be at my mom's but not at my house.

Anyways, that's the news. The course is done, it went fine, work is finally crazily done. Holy crap it's felt like a lot. I just can't wait to be settled. I think I'll be going back and forth a lot. It's different and unsettling. I'd like to feel like both places are my home, but we'll wait and see on that.

I miss you. Hugs!

Oooh, how feminine of me.

Well, after this week, my second course is halfway through. It'll be nice to have these two done, but I wish I had taken a nice little break from school. Some day, I'll take a good ass break.
Haven't seen much of the summer, its been fairly steady with school and work. Gee, how exciting. My allergies have been bad, but they're getting a little better now, thank gob. Thank gob indeed.

I really need a pizza. I was going to say something else but now I can't remember what I needed! Damn that's annoying.

I am aware of certain calls to be made that are long overdue. They shall be made this week. I promise!! Oh that's what I needed. I am in serious need of new clothes/ a new dye job, but I'll wait till end ot August for those. My loan was approved which is fine and nice, so I'll be able to pay for the schooling. Such a large loan this year:(. I hope it works out ok.

Well it's far too hot. Cant think anymore. Byebye.

Bed of Awesomeness

Ok seriously, I know I mentioned this bed before but it's incredible. The comfiest bed I've slept in besides Kevins cosy bed . There's usually a fat loaf in the form of cat on it, but it's the best bed ever.


So enough about the bed. My exam for the course is in two days (eek), and I have to say, at first, that class was bad. Really bad. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. But somehow, I made it through up to this point, and I'm even starting to get a little of what's going on. I hope the exam goes okay. I've already got a pass in theory, which is a nice thought.

It's kind of tiresome to think of that much more time before I can be secure and independent financially. I wish I had figured something out before fourth year. But still, it's better than nothing, right? And it's been fun. I love univeristy. I'm just very positive that I'd like to move out. I feel guilty living off of my parents rent, but it sure makes things easier.

And I just might add that Canada Day strikes on a Saturday, giving all of us Superstore employees the weekend off! Yay! Hours are great, but somehow I can't seem to make any money :). Oh well. I'm definetly going down to Peakes , and I'm hoping for an excellent time. I also hope to see some people I haven't seen in a million years.

I'm off. I think I'm the only person who reads this anymore lol ,but that's ok. Sometimes you just need to talk.

Frustrated

I have this awful pit of stress that's lodged in my stomach.
Ow.
And I don't think it will fully go away until June 21. Then that will depend on the ...summer situation. Yes.

I really wish I could just wake up tomorrow with a well paying job that I like and be able to survive comfortably in my own place. But I guess in order to do that, I have to finish this stuff first. I'm sick of experimenting. Sigh.

Well that was a very positive post, I know. Maybe my next one will be less complainy and more like "Yay, today I went to the beach and it was sooo nice and tomorrow I plan to sleep in till noon and then sit in the sun for an hour before packing up my bags to go on a camping trip with all the people I like on it and then the next day I plan on sleeping in and eating lots of food and playing video games. Yay."

It could happen. .............................. .

Go To Bed

I should be going to bed now cause I have to get up early for class-ew-, but it's so hard to go to bed knowing that you have to get up soon. It makes me want to stay up late. I won't though. I'll be in bed by 12 or shortly after. Or I'll kick my ass.
Last night I had the worst dream. I dreamt I was all by myself doing tons of Photolab orders only for some reason the Photolab was situated in my parking lot/lawn, and it was snowing, and also getting dark. And there was this black dude that came up to me while I was stressed and asked me to change his 600 dollar bill or something, and I sent him away cause I was too busy. Then I was way behind everyone's one hours and they were ordering like 25 by 50 prints or something. Anyways this dream went on for a LONG time and then I think I just woke up because my dream sucked so much that I didn't want to be in it anymore lol. When I woke up I felt like I had just worked like a 15 hour shift.
Stupid dream. I really like this La Tortura song by Shakira, that new one that's all in ...uh....Latin? Spanish? I don't know. It's catchy. I like the chorus.
What's the deal with stupid blogger not uploading pictures? It's stalled. How lame. The PICTURE is what it's all about. Stupid fucker.
Fred Fucker was being adorable tonight, I put my jacket over his head and he started rolling around like an adorable blob of fuzz. I wish I'd thought to take a picture. In fact, I need to take some pics. Will do. Soon?Maybe.